Back in March, my googling turned up a detailed recollection of Rev. Duncan Hyder Selph, written by someone who knew him - William Shelton. Yesterday's googling turned up a new obituary for wife Lavinia "Lily" (Burton) Selph that was published in the Baptist and Reflector on 17 January 1901.
Her obituary provides a rich level of detail that was missing from the obituaries of most women of that time: her birth date and location, her parents' names, information on her teacher, her first husband, and her personality.
It is amusing to the warning about the rates for obituaries in this publication that precedes her obituary. The word count for Lily Selph's obituary is estimated at 783 words, which is 583 words over the 200 words limit. It would have cost the family $5.83 for this write-up. Allowing for inflation, it would have cost $26.07. However, modern obituaries run much, much more.
I suspect that the J.B.M. who wrote this was her nephew James Brickell Murfree.
A transcript follows.
Obituary
Notice. - Obituary notices not exceeding 200 words will be inserted free of charge, but one cent will be charged for each succeeding word, and should be paid in advance. Count the words and you will know exactly what the charge will be. Where an obituary is in excess of 200 words allowed and is not accompanied by the money, we shall have to cut it down to the free ?????
SELPH. -- Mrs. Lavinia E. (Lily) Burton Selph was born near Murfreesboro, Tenn., Oct. 18, 1829, and died at the residence of her son, Mr. Hardy B. Selph, May 28, 1899, being in the 70th year of her age. She was the daughter of Col. F. N. W. and Mrs. Lavinia Murfree Burton, who were among the first settlers of this country. She had a number of brothers and sisters, the majority of whom lived to mature age, each one being well-recognized as educated and refined, possessing minds that were gifted and cultured.
Mrs. Selph was reared in this community, and in her girlhood was beloved by her companions for her effervescent spirit, her earnest affection and her rare cordialty (sic). She was always kind and loving in her demeanor, cordial and confiding in her relations with others, yet withal full of mirth, with a ringing laughter that went to the heart of every one; and these qualities of heart and mind were not confined to her girlhood, but went with her through life. She was educated in Murfreesboro under the tutelage of that accomplished lady and learned instructor, Mrs. Blackington, where she received that mental training so forcibly exhibited in her later years.
In 1844 she made a public profession of religion and joined the Baptist Church at this place, being immersed by the distinguished Dr. Howell of Nashville.
In June, 1850, she was married to Dr. James Stewart, who died a few months after their marriage. On Dec. 22, 1852, she was married to Rev. Duncan H. Selph, with whom she lived many years in love and confidence. Dr. Selph was a man of great culture and literary attainments, being for many years President of Union University, at one time a flourishing college at Murfreesboro. In 1874 Dr. Selph died, leaving Mrs. Selph with quite a number of young children to care for, with responsibility she well and faithfully met. Her widowhood was for twenty-five years, during which time she lived with and for her children. Mrs. Selph was a woman of fine physique, being tall and stout, with an intellectual face that always displayed a kind expression, that was the index of a kind and loving heart. Mrs. Selph was accomplished in mind, being well educated and having a great fondness for books, she possed a great store of knowledge, which was always readily available. In her conversations she was interesting and instructive, at the same time refined and free from self-laudation. She was gentle and lovely in her disposition, always having a kind word for every one, which was spoken in a good humor.
As a friend she was faithful and true, without ostentation, sharing alike with her companions whatever their conditions might be. In their joys she was happy and in their sorrows she was sympathizing. To her neighbors she was open-hearted and obliging. To the poor she was always kind and helpful, her hand was ever open to relieve their sufferings.
As a mother she here more than elsewhere displayed a soft, gentle disposition and her great loving heart. While ever watchful of their welfare and bending the energies of her mind and soul to train them up in the way they should go, yet she was lenient and indulgent. She chose rather to lead them by the chords of love than to force them by harsh measures. And in her last sickness it was beautiful to see the deep affection and earnest solicitude for her which was exhibited by her children and grandchildren. Day after day, night after night they tarried by her bedside, vieing with each other in their attentions to her.
Thus has passed away one who while living was a blessing to those by whom she was surrounded, and in dying left them the rich legacy of a Christian life. But alas! she has gone and we shall never again see that kind face or hear that cheery voice, but through our tears we can look up to a loving Father and feel that mercy he has taken our loved one home to rest. She longed for rest; she sighed for rest, sweet rest; there is rest in heaven.
"The winged hours fleet, the brief
months such the years,
There seems scant space for laughter
of for tears.
Remember.
The seasons die, spring hastens, sum-
mer flies,
A flash, and autumn fades in frosty
skies.
Remember.
Be on our souls this truth eternal grav-
en
Beyond the imminent deep there lies
a heaven
Forever.
Whither unmoved by life's impatient
surges
Beckons a hand, a voice eternal urges
Forever.
There time nor change shall come, but
only rest
And blessed contemplation of the best
Remember."
J.B.M.
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